They happen at the most random and unassuming times. Today I’m driving, listening to music, totally fine and eager to go to IKEA. Suddenly I’m reliving the moments sitting and watching the ER staff try to revive Milo, hearing their hushed and hurried conversation, going through their check lists of things to try to get something, anything, to work. I’m remembering the few minutes we got to see him after it was over. I wanted so badly to pick him up, but wasn’t even allowed to touch him. In those moments I was so stunned and numb, but now when I relive them I feel it all so vividly. So now, in the middle of a sunny day, I have to wipe my face, take many deep breaths, and just go on.